Business training without execution is merely entertainment.
— Steve Adams
A Jaded Trainer's Dictionary

A Jaded Trainer's Dictionary

Six Sigma:  A certification obtained of which the methodology is very metrics-driven, as this looks cooler and allows a person to call themselves a “black belt” and get paid more for it.

e-Learning:  An online experience where the user locates the ‘Next’ button as quickly as possible to move from one screen to the next before taking a quiz at the end.  The screens can contain information about a wide variety of topics and be quite cluttered, but luckily the user never needs to view the information again anyhow.  Companies can pay big money for this experience.

Presentation:  Often also referred to as a ‘deck’,  because the verbiage crammed onto the screen would need an area the size of the deck of a ship to be easily read.  A presenter will show this on a screen, wall or curtains and then read it to the audience.

Gamification: The use of current technology to provide training with functional obsolescence, allowing a vendor to charge more in the near future for a new version.  See also CD Training, video training, Second Life.

Social Learning:  A platform in which a group of people who collectively do not know the answer to a problem can agree on a solution they made up, allowing learning with no trainer.

Ground Rules:  A standard set of sentences posted by a trainer at the beginning of training, such as, “no question is a dumb question” and “do not interrupt the speaker”.  The truth of these statements is irrelevant as they are not referred to again, but look good if someone looks in the room.

Training Evaluation:  Also known as “smile sheets”, this is a survey given out by trainers at the end of a workshop.  Typically respondents can evaluate the workshop in a variety of areas using a rating from 1 to 5, although some departments may pre-fill the questions with 4’s to save time.

Return on Investment (ROI):  An analysis done by a Training Department to ostensibly show how their efforts have resulted in a net profit to the organization.  This tends to be conducted more often when a company is facing cutbacks.

ATD:  The Association for Talent Development.  Formerly known as the American Society for Training and Development, the name was changed so that “STD” would not be in the name.

Certification: A revenue generating model by various organizations where a title may be bestowed (for example a ‘Certified Professional of Learning and Performance’, CPLP or See-Plop) on any who pay the fee and pass the exam.  They then have earned the right to pay fees to take additional courses over the next 2-3 years to maintain their certification.

Jackpots:  People who did not maintain their certification by completing the requisite courses in time.  Jackpots must pay the initial fee and complete the exam again.

Professional Development:  Training.

Talent Development: Training.

Organizational Learning: Training.

Performance Consultant: Trainer.

Consulting:  No training, only telling.

Instructional Designer:  A skilled writer used to short-term employment, usually five years or less.

LMS: Learning Management System.  Particularly in larger organizations, these are online systems that cost as much as a full-time trainer but work less reliably.  They are used to allow employees to register for training, but the interface is typically made in such a way that few people actually use it, resulting in less training that needs to be offered and consequently saving the company money.

Webinar:  A technology that allows the user to listen to others talk or share applications while checking email.

Leader’s Guide:  Mythical tomes thought to be a reference to show the reader how to conduct a workshop on a certain topic.  These much sought-after documents are rarely found.

Training Manual: Any of a collection of documents that employees will display in their work location.  The duration the manual is kept varies on how much they enjoyed the training.  Under no circumstances are the manuals opened and/or read following the training.

Millennials:  Younger employees.

Gen Xers: Middle-aged employees.

Harassment Training for [your company name here]

Harassment Training for [your company name here]